I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
