Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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