The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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