thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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