chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
