Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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