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Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Randomize