your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
