Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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