i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
