I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
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u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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