It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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