I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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