What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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