how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
