well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
