let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
