Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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