all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
