I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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