i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
