Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
