Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
