Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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