Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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