I'm lost and stupid without you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
