she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
