She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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