Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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