I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
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He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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