Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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