Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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