Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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