Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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