My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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