walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want nice things and good sex
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
