I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
