I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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