i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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