what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
