considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
