people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
