there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
