Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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