ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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