i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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