Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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