at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize