It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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