Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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