I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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