so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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