You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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