the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
