I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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