Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dick very happy bro
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
