who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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