I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
