Your tits are I can't wait for
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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