That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
