Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
