Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
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i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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