mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
