Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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