New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
