New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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